Oh My! Oh My! That Gal's Got Pies!

The way to any man’s heart is through his stomach. More specifically though, through pie.

            I was never to smooth with the man folk. I was shy and awkward. I always seemed to have some version of a bad bowl cut going on. It was not until junior year in high school did I figure out the magic needed to make a man happy. Pie.

           

It all started with a boy. I went to an art high school so; smoking hot manly guys were few and far between. We were lucky if the few guys we got liked women. So naturally with 60 people in my class the crushes and liking were all very intertwined and a couple beautiful people sat at the top. There was one boy who was the hottest of them all. He had that dangerous boy-next-door look that was so appealing in my oh so sheltered life. He was handsome and wore glasses, ah, my weakness. So when one day in class we were chatting somehow the conversation got onto pie. I probably said something like how I like to cook and I think he said something like how he likes to eat pie. Me being the puddle of high school girlish girl probably said something like, “oh I’ll make you a pie! I make great pie.” I do not think I had ever made a pie before then unless you count taking the frozen kind out of the box and sticking it in the oven.

           

So I set out to the store to find the perfect pie ingredients. He wanted apple and I was happy because that seemed fairly easy. I came home, got to work, and anticipated the next day when he would taste the pie I worked so hard on. I felt like the fate of my high school coolness weighed upon this pie.

           

The next day I arrived with the pie and gave it to him. He was surprised I actually did it and I was too. Looking back on it now it looks a little strange. Anyway, he started to eat and to my happiness he loved it. All his friends gathered round to eat the pie. In the end I was surrounded by full happy men thanking and congratulating me.

           

Thus started my pie journey. Everywhere I would go I would bring pies. I became known as the pie girl. When I went to college I started making them and bringing them over to my brother’s house (full of fraternity boys) and they would eat it up, literally and figuratively. For birthdays and special events I would bring a pie and at the end just like in high school, I would be surrounded by happy guys.

           

So here is my recipe. Use it wisely. There is a lot of power in the pie, make sure you know what you are doing with it. Good luck.

Ingredients:

Pie dough

         I get the Pillsbury pie crust. A couple of reasons I get this is because it is dairy free, inexpensive, and it’s thin. It’s important to get the thin dough kind. You need two pieces of dough, which this brand comes with.

Apple pie filling

          You can get any brand you want. I use Wilderness. You will need two 21-ounce cans.

Cinnamon

Sugar

Pie tin

          I use the disposable ones then it’s easier to leave it at someone’s house and not have to worry about getting it back.

Foil

Directions:

Combine your cinnamon and sugar. If it is helpful you can get an already combined shaker.

Sprinkle your cinnamon sugar mixture in the bottom of your pie tin. Use enough so you cannot see clearly the bottom of the tin but not enough so it will be gross. We just want a light dusting.

Lay out one dough across the bottom. There will be some hanging over the edge, good. Try and make it as even as possible.

Give another dust of cinnamon sugar.

Pour in one of the cans of apple pie filling. Spread it out evenly.

Another sprinkle. In the actual filling you can use a little more. It’s really up to you.

Add the second can.

More cinnamon sugar.

Next lay out your remaining dough on a large cutting board.

Cut strips in the dough about 1 inch wide.

Take every other strip of dough and place it on the pie as if where it would have been had you not cut the dough.

Turn the pie 90 degrees and repeat with the rest of the strips. If this step is confusing the picture will show you what it should look like.

Next roll the sides of the bottom piece of dough over the new pieces of dough to create that nice pie crust finish look. If you want you can use a fork to press down all the way around on the crust.

Then, you guessed it, more cinnamon sugar! Go nuts, sprinkle that stuff all over! The sugar will caramelize and create a really nice almost candy effect on the crust.

Last put foil around the edges of the crust. This prevents them from burning while the rest of the pie cooks.

Put your pie into a 400-degree oven and watch it. I usually have mine in for about 45 minutes or so. It really depends and you just need to watch it. When the top crust is looking kind of cooked but not all the way, you know that feeling when you are like “well this looks okay but I feel like it should be in a little longer” that’s when you take the foil off and let it cook about 15 minutes longer.

EAT, or give to a friend and you both eat. Enjoy!